When I was 15 I came out to my parents and my friends at school as bisexual. Word spread and it was the strangest thing.
Suddenly I was being called greedy, people saying I was confused and lads making lewd comments. I couldn’t deal with that so eventually I never mentioned it again and kept myself very private. I think people just assumed it was a phase as I only ever had relationships with guys... or that’s what I let them believe!
Eighteen years on and I realised I wasn’t happy, that I’d been living a lie. Society seemed to have moved on in terms of LGBT+ equality and I felt it was finally time to start living, to put myself first and do what makes me happy.
I sat down with my family and had a long chat about who I really was. They were really supportive as were my work colleagues and friends.
Next it was time to start dating... I signed up for a couple of dating sites in the hope of meeting a nice woman. Sifting through some of the profiles I was shocked.
I couldn’t believe how many women, predominantly identifying as lesbian, had openly biphobic statements on their profiles. ‘Don’t bother chatting if you’re bi, just make a choice already’, ‘Bi is not even a real thing so don’t talk to me!’ and ‘Real lesbians only, no fake bi women’ to quote just a few. I even started chatting to one lady and we seemed to get on quite well. Until she randomly came out with ‘Oh by the way, you’re not bi are you? I don’t do bi’... it’s fair to say we didn’t chat again.
I just can’t believe that in this day and age bisexuals are still struggling to be taken seriously and I’m absolutely disgusted and saddened to see that so much of this discrimination comes from within the LGBT+ community itself.
Some days I seriously consider whether to just say I’m gay to make life easier, but it shouldn’t have to be like that!
I’m fed up of hiding, I’m sick of being made to feel ashamed. I tell people I’m bisexual and wait for the punchline. Trust me, there will be one!
So yes, I am confused. Confused as to why there is still so much negativity towards bisexuality, outside of and even within the LGBT+ community.
Has anything really changed since I was 15?
Proud, PCS’s LGBT+ members group, is open to all PCS members, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Visit our web pages for more details.