Holding Grief and Hope: Reflections on Trans Day of Remembrance
Trans Day of Remembrance is a time to remember trans people whose lives were taken by violence and discrimination, and to think about the futures they should have had. It’s also a reminder that the world must do better.
Some days, grief and hope sit side by side. Trans Day of Remembrance (TDoR) is one of those days. It’s a time to remember trans people whose lives were taken by violence and discrimination, and to think about the futures they should have had. It’s also a reminder that the world must do better.
Every year, I think of a friend from my home country who disappeared years ago and was never found. I think about the silence she left behind and the ache of not knowing.
When I read Elif Shafak’s “10 Minutes 38 Seconds in This Strange World”, I cried - for the character in the story, for my friend, and for every trans person whose life has been cut short. That book showed me how stories can make us feel what words like “violence” and “loss” never can.
I also think about a mural I saw on Gambia Street in London by a trans artist called blkmoodyboi titled “Safely Trans Outside”. blkmoodyboi asks “what does it mean to be safe outside?” reflecting on the experience of communities that must consider how they move in a space. I remember looking at it for a long time. It was the first time I’d seen something that told stories from the trans community. It said, “We are visible, see us”. It reminded me how powerful art can be in telling the truth.
On 1 November, I went to Self Esteem Presents at the London Literature Festival. Self Esteem used her platform to invite Travis Alabanza and Kate Nash to share their art. Travis read raw and honest excerpts from their book. Kate’s performance ended with a standing ovation. I felt a moment of unity, real belonging, and shared strength.
We remember. We honour. But not just today. Remembrance means action — listening, learning, speaking up, and supporting trans-led spaces. It means doing what we can, every day, to build a world where trans people are safe, seen, and free.
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